No Big D.

Nothing about either of us is quiet, tame or gentle. So, accordingly, this will not be a quiet, tame or gentle experience.

Disclaimer: Do not read if pregnant or breastfeeding. Possible side effects may include, but are not limited to:

• Intense groaning ( guttural, generally brought on inadvertently as a reaction to content)  

• Uncontrollable giggles (sound and pitch varies from person to person)

• Frequent eye brow raising (induced generally by shocking content)

• Crows feet (usually a secondary side effect of smiling) 

• An intense urge to head to confession (attributed to a strong sense of guilt brought on by a personal relation to the content)

• Possible long term addiction.     

Introducing Miss-Munch-A-Lot:

This isn’t my first time. My blog cherry was popped exactly a year ago.

  

The experience: It was an uncomfortable combination of excitement and trauma. Looking back, I was so naive. It took place in my first week at the University, when I was quietly approached and then quickly thrust (for lack of a better word) into it all. There I was, a grown adult who should know what to do, and what to say, how to begin, but I was totally lost.

But, like every ‘first’, it soon became increasingly comfortable and over time I have become known as an expert-the resident blog guru.  My job includes the maintenance and training of all blogs at the University but as can be expected, the creative freedom I crave is limited by the confines of the educational institution in which I work.

So, I decided to join blog forces with someone who makes me laugh daily and never ceases to entertain me with her anecdotal emails, Single White Femme. I guess every blog needs a Raison d'être.  This one was prompted by a deep love for the written word, and an even greater love for sharing quirky viewpoints. Objective: not to make this blog stagnant, lame or take the form of an online diary. I realize a lot of the blogging world uses blogs as an outlet for their narcissism but I, along with Single White Femme, promise to deliver more.

We will try and avoid topics that induce snoring, and instead concentrate on the important news worthy topics that plague our lives. I can’t promise that all posts will be teaching you a valuable lesson, although most will. Sometimes it will just be necessary to address our disdain for thin lips, unruly fan-shaped nails, or tight underwear lines and we should be entitled to complain about the presence of undergrounder zits which were supposed to exist only in adolescence.

Note:  posts of that nature will only surface on days when we are experiencing heightened womanly symptoms. We will return to our human form soon after.

The plan: Regular entries by both of us, on the same topic, taking a separate stance on the matter. You can be certain that we will agree on most things, but our differing life experiences will undoubtedly pave the way for some contrasting takes.

Snippets of life, love, healthy and unhealthy choices and most importantly… hilarity. That is our pledge to you.

Stop judging. Now.
-Miss Munch-A-Lot

Introducing Single White Femme:

Deflowerment.

I am a blog virgin.

I call this my….   “deflowerment”.

I expect it to feel different, maybe a little painful, but I am glad I have waited to do it with Miss Munch-a-lot, one of my closest friends, whom I love and trust.  

I think it’s important to wait until you are truly ready to blog. I think I am.

First Base – “Initiation”  

From the ages of 8 to 16 I did seriously flirt with the prehistoric form of blogging also known as the “diary”. My first diary had a lock and key which I stored under my bed so that no one would be able to discover my hideous secret life : ie -  which boy I had a crush on that week or which girl in my class I wished would wake up bald.

Second Base – “Fetish & Obsession”

I have been known to “creep” (or religiously follow) certain blogs.  There is one in particular that is saved to my favorites folder on my work computer. I check it daily at 3:45pm. It’s become a ritual.  The blog in question is a completely appalling and radically conservative religious site that goes directly against everything I believe in. It is also written by the father of this guy I’m kind of dating – who has no clue I even know it exists.

(That’s a story for another day)

Third Base – “Fantasy”
I’ve definitely fantasized about writing a blog
But there has been one thing stopping me. What to write about?

Urban Dictionary Defines the term “Blog” as follows:

Blog

n.
Short for Weblog 
A meandering, blatantly uninteresting, online diary that gives the author the illusion that people are interested in their stupid, pathetic life. Blogs consist of such riveting entries as "homework sucks" and "I slept until noon today."

It’s true. Blogs can be really lame. And as much as I may want to broadcast the deepest darkest secrets of my friends under thinly veiled pseudonyms like “The Lawyer” or “Bridezilla” – it’s not the kind of blog I want to write. That type is better suited to my “Journal” (adult diary) which is under my bed and contains deep secrets like who I have a crush on and which co worker I wish would wake up bald. 

I was thrilled when Miss Munch-a-lot  approached me about co-authoring an online forum where we can do what we do best : chit chat, analyze, make each other (and hopefully our readers) pee a little in their desk chairs, and of course offer words of wisdom(?), encouragement, and love.

I’m not promising daily, mountain moving, entries here… sometimes all we’ll be able to tackle is an account of how hungover we are and how we skipped a work out or ate a piece of chocolate cake. And we reserve this right.

However, so as not to align with the definition above, we plan on writing an amusing and honest blog about our lives, the healthy (and not so healthy) decisions we make, and just about everything else that comes to mind. We aren’t much for holding back – so the faint of heart be warned.

We are two different women, in different places, living different lives – and while we are the closest of friends – we are bound to get into some interesting debates which we hope to share with you.

There … That wasn’t so bad.

I think I’m ready to go again ;) 

-Single White Femme